According to research the brain checks 5 times per second (!!! I didn't know anything can happen 5 times per second) if the environment is safe to feed the fight or flight reflex. In general we function a lot better when the brain gets the feedback the everything is safe.
Looking back, I notice that in my current disruption my brain checks probably got less safe feedback than usual, creating a me that was more unstable in the weeks after having moved here. It's not been a very conscious feeling to myself, but it has manifested in my behavior and reactions: impatient, anxious, yelling at my kids, unsatisfied, a feeling of wasting my time and being useless, creating friction with Arne. Not the usual lightfooted, flexible, effective, producing, maximizing my day and pushing purpose in time.
I recognize this feeling of slight excitement and less safety inside, when being confronted with new realities: the divorce of my parents, leaving home to study, my first job, moving abroad, getting children, being confronted with the chronic disease of Ole (my second son), any new job... These are some of my bigger life chunks. I think there are tons of rather small events everyday that hit us and get us out of balance and make us challenge and sometimes even reinvent ourselves: getting tough feedback or the feeling to have disappointed someone or being disappointed or having fucked up a project.
I believe that in the course of our lives in general we improve our ability to (subconsciously) sooth and calm the brain scan for flight or fight. We learn to create safety in more and more diverse contexts. The more adventurous and entrepreneurial among us probably create a wider range of situations in which their brain still signals ease.
The move here, the letting go of so much that is dear to me, especially my work and loved ones threw me off balance and created discomfort, disbalance, excitement and less stability. Just noticing and becoming aware helps me to go back to my safety center, breath, have an inner dialogue and feed my inner strength.
Disruption comes with a cost: it can bring discomfort, instability, fear and many other emotions. And still: I believe shaking up the dominant logic of one's current reality and the associated discomfort is good for anybody's long-term resilience and happiness.
And here are some questions for you. Just stop reading if you don’t feel like inquiry. I loved your reactions on the last blog and I would love to hear some on this one as well…it helps to feed my brain with ease J What do you consider your critical life challenging events? When did you feel shaky or challenged for the last time? When were you utterly happy? How do you challenge your dominant logic? I would love to hear your thoughts! Please share...